Congratulations! You’ve chosen a wedding date, a venue, and the song for your first dance. You’ve asked

your closest friends and family to stand up with you and support you through the months leading up to your

big day. Your bridal party is there to not only celebrate this milestone in your life, but also to be a sounding

board for your ideas for your ceremony and reception. Ideally, they could be much more if you utilize them

for their gifts, and develop the A.R.T. of having so many people assist in making your day special.

Remember these three key phrases as you go about creating a beautiful wedding.

Ask for help. The first step is recognizing you two can’t do everything yourselves. Reach out to your

bridesmaids and groomsmen and explain to them all that’s involved in putting a wedding together and your

current planning needs. Even if everyone can’t pitch in at the same level, they will work to see that they find

a way to assist you beyond what is prescribed based on your honesty. Don’t be afraid to request their

support and keep them in the loop on the latest in getting your nuptials on track.

One way to allow your team to support your needs is to help them get to know each other as soon as

possible. Send out an email with all their contact information. A group outing for drinks, dinner or even

bowling can turn into a great opportunity to connect and bond to provide you with a stronger support

network. Often, bridal parties don’t live in the same town, so set up a Google hangout or a Skype session so

everyone can say hello and potentially discuss any information you sent out on your needs. Create Pinterest

boards of all the looks and styles you have planned with your maid of honor and best man, who will help you

keep the big picture and details together and can also help you coordinate and manage traditional details of

your bridal party requests. Their collaboration and your communication with them will be vital to getting

everything you have planned off the ground and maybe, when they get to know one another, create some

surprises for one or the both of you as well.

Recognize the talent! Has your best man hosted conferences at hotels? He can make some catering

suggestions for your reception. A bridesmaid is a CPA? Ask her to look over your wedding budget to help

you stay on target with your expenses. Your maid of honor is a stage manager at her community’s local

theater? She may be able to help you time out the logistics of the wedding day into a document you can

share with everyone.

The point is, everyone in your bridal party is bringing a skill, talent, or connection to the table. Sometimes,

it’s not one that they even realize they can share in a meaningful way, but you or your fiancé/e knows them

well enough to be able to think of little but significant ways they can aid you in a better event. Utilize their

expertise and make sure that you honor the information or resources they provide you with by using them

responsibly. That could mean leaving that piece of your wedding-be it flowers, music, or transportation- in

their hands and only checking in on that piece periodically; every two weeks, request an update: once a

month if your wedding is 12+ months away. Additionally, if you’re using their professional connection to

obtain a service for your rehearsal, wedding or honeymoon , do your best to follow up in a timely way and

ensure you preserve their relationship with respect, forethought and gratitude. Shower them and their “hook-

up” with affection and thanks. Also, delegate responsibly. Don’t assign any more than two people to one task

and make sure to remember they are helping you, but have their own lives and responsibilities. Their talent

also has limits: don’t create unrealistic expectations or timetables for them to provide you with support or

resources. You want to have a closer relationship with your bridal party after your wedding than before it.

Take a step back. You’ve shared your needs and put pieces of your most important event in the hands of

your attendants, communicated the odds and ends about all the big and little details, and everything is in

place. Now, it’s 48 hours before your wedding day. If you’ve put everything together well, you will be able to

turn everything over to your best man and maid of honor and let them be in charge. Yes, you have to let

THEM be in charge. As a 3 time maid of honor and 6 time bridesmaid with a very well-stocked bridal

emergency kit, I can assert that it makes your wedding less stressful by letting the control go. Their taking

the reins allows you more time to spend with out of town guests, your parents, and your future spouse, and

also to just plain relax. Your job now is to enjoy the beauty of watching all your planning unfold and savor all

the memories. Don’t miss the opportunity to live in the moment!

When you have made the best use of your bridal party, you are able to get more out of your wedding

experience and also create a closer, more meaningful bond with people who you have chosen to share in

this incredible time in your life.

Aria M. Mason is a local opera singer, music minister, and wedding musician who has coordinated music at weddings in churches and courtyards alike. Learn more about her here.

(This article originally appeared in the fall 2013 issue of NOLA Wedding Guide.)